My Mom Watches Hannibal (Sequel to Mom watches Jagten. All quotes are hers. Scroll if you h9 my mom)

Episode 1: Where do they even get the stag antlers from? Is this an American thing? By the way can you sacrifice a stag so i can impale a chick on the antlers?
Episode 1: Hey, this is the same weirdo from Jagten. Is fucking Marcus (from Jagten) here? I am not watching a show with fucking Marcus. I hate Marcus.
Episode 1: Oh this guy likes dogs? Which one dies at the end? Don’t lie, dogs always die.
Episode 1: Did he name his dog Winston? It’s his damn DOG not his grandfather. Winston.
Episode 2: Are those real mushrooms? See, I told you mushrooms are gross.
Episode 2: Oh look a Chinese chick. Where’s the Indian, Jade? Where is the Indian.
Episode 3: Oh the little girl wakes up. I hope she isn’t like Honey Boo Boo Child (wth mom).
Episode 3: Oh look, gift cards. She doesnt use gift cards. Take away her womanhood.
Episode 4: Look at that child loving his mother so much. You must be like him, Jade.
Episode 4: What do you even mean, «murderess», it’s a happy, loving…DID THAT BOY PISS HIS PANTS.
Episode 4: Why is she cleaning it up for him, make the little shit clean his piss up.
Episode 4: Oh, Lecter lost his parents early? He ate them didn’t he?
Episode 5: Why did that woman touch the vomit. She touched the vomit. Does she do…what is that stupid Japanese porn word…bukkake? Is that why she touched the vomit?
Episode 5: When I die, will you make me into an angel like that, Jade. No you won’t you’ll be busy stealing all my fucking clothes wont you?
Episode 6: Oh look. Wait…is this Clarice Starling? The one from the film with the other guy?
Episode 6: Is he going to murder her or have sex with her? Wait, she calls the big Matrix man’s cellphone, right? I bet Hannibal had sex with her to convince her to call.
Episode 7: How entertaining. All these people being killed. No wonder you failed Add Math, Jade.
Episode 7: That black man (Tobias) is super sexy. Better than everybody in this stupid show. I hope he beats Hannibal in the end.
Episode 7: What’s with Frankie? He’s lile your dad before I said yes.
Episode 7: Why is he so sad when William doesn’t come? What’s with all the dramatic song? WHY ARE THEY STARING AT EACH OTHER DOES HANNIBAL NOT HAVE HIS FINGERS IN ANOTHER MAN’S KIDNEY IS HE NOT SAVING HIM
Episode 7: Oh. This is a gay show right? You are carrying out your fantasies forcing me to watch gayness.
Episode 8: I hate orchestras.
Episode 8: That orchestra killer man should kill every single orchestra member and make them into the instument they play. Well. Except the piano.
Episode 8: YESS the hot Toby (Tobias) is fighting your ugly Mads. I bet Tobias wins. See? He’s winning. Eew whats with all the faces your Hannibal makes. Ew.
Episode 8: This is a gay show, don’t lie, Jade. Although if it was a gay show between the Toby and William…it would have been fine.
Episode 9: Wow thats liek the Empire State of totem poles man.
Episode 9: If I ever made a totem pole, Jade, you’ll not even be on it. I’ll just use your ugly arms to prop it on the ground.
Episode 9: I should make a totem pole.
Episode 9: Oh, We Are Her Fathers? I take it back when I said this was a gay show. This is a gay cannibal and a straight policeman. Just how it should be.
Episode 10: It’s so obvious. Check the damn bed.
Episode 10: See? Girls that dont listen to me get their faces cut in half.
Episode 10: Is that supposed to signify a ladder fuck session? I thought William was straight. IS THIS RAPE?
Episode 11: Haven’t I seen this guy (Izzard) before?
Episode 11: …is William dying. Are the next episodes going to be only about Madsibal? I won’t watch then ok.
Episode 11: Wow. Hannibal sure has a big crush. All that touching.
Episode 12: *she stayed quiet during the entire thing until basically* WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE GIRL HE IS HOLDING HER LOVINGLY RIGHT, NOT GRIPPING HER HARD SHE CAN SLIP AWAY AND RUN OMG OMG U R PRETTY U CANNOT BE SACRIFICED TO THE CANNIBAL
Episode 13: …is that an ear. Did he vomit an ear. Even my cooking is not this shit.
Episode 13: I like this Bloom woman. She looks like me, right? WHOSE PRETTIER, Jade, me or her. Episode 13: Why the fuck is he crying. Is he for real. I will cut those tears off his face with the knife he used to cut the girls ear and i will gouge those fake tear filled eyes out.
Episode 13: YES. YES. I KNEW IT. WILLIAM IS NOT STUPID.
Episode 13: Fucking dramatic music again.

mom is amazing))

Me: You know it’s bad when you’re SO obsessed with a guy that you can identify them by their ass.
Mom: Is it Mads?
Me: Yep.

girls, say hi & respect to your moms

cool mums again)!

hands-of-a-fallen-angel:

Me: Mads did a new photo shoot!

My mom: HE DID A NUDE PHOTO SHOOT?!

love them) дочки бы ваши едва ли сумели все это… (с)

his face…..makes me want to…..his face makes me want to make his face. my lips are inadequate.

my mother, speaking for us all on the topic of Mads Mikkelsen (via tomchildgonewild)

and we have wonderful mum here again)))!

cool mum again!)))) love these woman,they’re awesome

Me: We can watch Casino Royale together Justin, because you need to see it and I need to watch it again for Mads Mikkelsen.
Mum: Who?
Me: Mads Mikkelsen.
Mum: Madge?
Me: MADS.
Mum: Short for…
Me: Short for nothing, he’s Danish.
Justin: I thought his name was Mars.
Me: His brother is called Lars.
Mum: I knew someone called Lars. He wasn’t Danish.
Me: How dare he.

cool mum again!!)))))))))

Me: /sad
Mom: Oh honey, why don’t you watch any of his happy movies?
Me: HE DOESN’T HAVE THEM.
Mom: ….

awcasbby:

my mother insulted mads the other day i am still mad

how is was?! more details about mums! 

girls, girls, fankids, tell more about your parents!))) their reaction is amazing!

another cool fan’s mum: So My Mum Watched Jagten

Her: …why is he so old and working in a kindergarten? I he homeless?
Her: I bet that’s the kid that lies, right? *points to the kid whose pooping)
Her: Ew but why are they showing the kid having a crap. Is this a child porno?
Her: That dog is called Fanny. Doesn’t fanny mean ass?
Her: Oh look, the dog is barking at the ex wife’s name. I should teach one to do it to your dad when he comes home every night…
Her: Why is that Grethe chick vomiting when she hears about semen? Is she a nun? She’s a nun, isn’t she?
Her: Why is Klara’s mum not reacting about the sexual abuse? Is this normal for her? Oh lalala, just another day, abuse and shit.
Her: Seriously though, why is he so nice to that kid? She just ruined his life!?
Her: THAT is Marcus? I thought Marcus was a cute little kid, who is this giant.
Her: I don’t like Marcus.
Her: ISN’T THIS YOUR HANNIBAL GUY? YES IT IS HIM. IF THERE IS ANY CANNIBALISM I AM LEAVING.
Her: Oh good they killed the dog. I hated it. Bark bark bark all the time.
Her: Why are they showing him burying the dog? Goddamit it gets more screen time than the love interest ok.
Her: Oh good Marcus is gone. I never liked him.
Her: *at the butcher* This movie is so unrealistic, if a little guy like your Hannibal gets hit by a huge obese shit like that he’d die.
Her: *at Mads’ headbutt* Well, that’s one good thing he did for the entire film.
Her: Ok he’s crying in the church. BLASPHEMY
Her: Ok, now not only is he crying, he’s trying to beat up the other guy. Wow, Hannibal, it’s been a while, and you’re reacting now?
Her: Ok look at him touch Theo. ARE THEY GAY? IS THIS A GAY MOVIE?
Her: Ok now the father realises the kid’s lying. WHERE IS THE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT?
Her: How did he…get into that house? Is he a burglar. Is this a crime cop show?
Her: Hmm I may begin to actually like your Hannibal guy
Her: Oh look Marcus is back. Can I leave?
Her: A GUN? A gun as a gift? Wow. I have nothing to say.
Her: *someone tries to shoot Mads* ….I bet it was Marcus
Kid Brother: …it wasn’t Marcus, mum.
Her: It was Marcus. I know it was Marcus ok. Bye.
Me: I am literally never watching anything with you, ever.

from me:I love her mother! she is awesome!!!)))

haha! cool mum again. i love these woman!))

barricade-of-feels:

Everyone is complaining about Mads in New York this month, I know how it feels  because he was in this little island called tenerife (where i live) 2 years ago filming clash of the titans and I didn’t know they were filming in this fucking island but my parents did and went there while i was at school and they met him and Gemma Arteton.

my mum laughs at me because she knows Hannibal.

my dear, your mum is awesome!!!

we have awesome mum again!))) love them!

*shows mum a photo of Mads looking hawwwwt*

Me: What’d you think, gorgeous isn’t he?

Mum: No.

Me: I think you need to see him in the context that he’s a cannibalistic serial murderer psychopath psychiatrist.

Mum: Yep, that’ll do it for me.

their reaction for idols of teens is so cool!!